Re: [ummiku-sayang] Ustaz Hasrizal talk last Saturday
Salam,
Agree with sis Shazreen. A lot of tips received. Eventhough we have attended many talks and read many parenting books, but what Ustaz shared were all with reference to the Quran and Hadith.
Some of the points I can share:
- Parents have to go BACK TO BASIC - It is us PARENTS who are responsible to shape our children. Not the teachers, schools, grandparents... US. Why? Because parents have something extra i.e "Kasih Sayang". When you show your love to your children and they give you their unconditional love, then it is easier to ask them to obey you. Otherwise, it will be seen as a burden to them. He showed a video of Petronas' Raya ad 2007 to illustrate the point.
- Kasih Sayang also equates to ATTENTION. Not material gifts. He gave an example of how a poor family who have a close family bond is better than a rich family where the children and parents are hardly together due to their busy schedules.
Apakah keperluan anak-anak?
(1) Fizikal - makan, minum, rumah etc. This one, all parents of most species do. So, kalau parents tu ingat tugas dia cuma nak bagi rumah, makan, minum & pakaian sahaja, he is the same as other animals.
(2) Akal - education, ilmu. This is either through formal or informal ways. School or life skills that provide knowledge to them.
(3) Emosi - kasih sayang, perhatian... Now this is where some parents start to "slack". Maybe the first two needs are fulfilled prefectly, but due to their busy schedules or whatever, they fail to tend to the emotional needs of their children.
(4) Hati - perlu kepada IMAN dan AGAMA. Here pun lagi ramai yang fail. Some equate the education that they provide via schools as the same as providing the IMAN. But it is not so. It doesn't mean sending the child to the best Islamic schools will be the same as giving them iman. And again, it is us as parents who are responsible to plant this seed in our children.
How? It is important to tell the children of "TUJUAN HIDUP". What is the purpose of our life? Without this understanding, we will be living our life like a soccer player playing in a field without the goal posts. Allah Mentions in the Quran " Tidak Aku jadikan manusia & jin, kecuali untuk beribadah kepadaKu". Manusia and Jin have the same roles here but manusia is given an extra role which is to be a KHALIFAH on this earth. What is the role of a Khalifah? Simply put - Make ourselves good, help others be good and take care of our surroundings (environment, society etc). "Good" here of course refers to being a good Muslim, following the rules of the Quran and Sunnah.
- Don't focus on the "presenting problem". We tend to look at issues of one not wearing the hijab, not praying, not fasting etc and react to the problem directly. But the more serious issue is the problem that relates to understanding one's dependency to Allah (perlukah saya kepada Allah?). Example - if you were invited to receive a Datukship at the Istana and the dress code requires you to wear black baju melayu, samping, shoes etc, would you disobey it? Most likely no. Why? Because you see that your Datukship is dependent on that ruling. If you refuse, you won't get the award.
It is the same here. We need to understand our dependence to Allah. We are all but His servants. Therefore, we should obey the rules that has been stated for us in the Quran and Sunnah. So, the problems that we see really has to be solved by understanding this concept, which Ustaz called "Asas Aqidah".
For children, we need to "suburkan" their love to Allah. Let them see the wonders and the blessings of Allah upon them. We need to make them understand that there is a reward for following the rules of Allah. We need to show them how dependent we are to Allah.
Banyak lagi yang dia share, yang tak dapat nak ditulis disini. Maybe others can share as well.
Do check out his website SaifulIslam.com. To check out our photos, click here:
Wassalam,
Lily
Salam
Memang a lot of tips that we received. The best part was knowing that anak seorang ustaz pun boleh buat perangai cam anak i yg ibu dia masih banyak lagi kena belajar..I'm not alone after all, phew!...It was an eye opener esp to my hubby coz i selalu gak pokpek pasal being at home but not being together. selalunya bebudak kat depan infront of the tv, i kt dapur n he in the room either w the hp, or newspaper..Sekali sekala appear bila ada yg nangis..So bila ustaz yang cakap terkesan la jugak..The next day, we tried to puji them esp when they were acting good and alhamdulillah wat a blissful weekend i had! Now to maintain and enhance the good behaviour..The biggest challenge i feel in educating and raising my kids is myself: kurang sabar and kurang ilmu. So to ummikusayang Kudos to ur team for bringing this workshop close to all of us..InsyaAllah with all the ilmu that we received we will become Supermums and Cooldads!
Subject: Re: [ummiku-sayang] Ustaz Hasrizal talk last Saturday
To: ummiku-sayang@yahoogroups.com
Date: Sunday, November 9, 2008, 8:09 PM
Salaam--
ALhamdulillah managed to attend the talk last saturday.
So true... mmg tak cukup masa, rasa macam byk lagi tak cover, alih2 dah time!
The following day, a few times i reminded my hubby to go mingle with my kids whenever
they were on their own.. nak praktikkan saranan ustaz supaya hadirkan diri untuk anak2
bila mereka behave, bukan hanya bila mereka naughty.
Lucky hubby was at the talk too :-) .. sebabnya my husband mmg selalu akan appear bila mereka
nakal/bergaduh/ menangis sahaja. Bila anak2 behave, i.e reading books, coloring, main among themselves
dgn aman - we all pun akan buat kerja sendiri, if hubby mmg ngadap laptop je lah.
So lepas balik dr talk ustaz, we all try untuk 'appear' bila anak2 behave.. and tell them how good they are..
puji2 lebih sikit, join them for a while.. before we go back to our work.
In short, soooo many things that we as parents need to change.
Dan SIBUK adalah musuh utama :-(
Nita
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